You are both looking for tools to break the conflict cycle. What you want in your love life just isn’t there. Things always go wrong when you try to talk about the issues. Next the conversation quickly escalates into belittling criticism, yelling, avoiding each other, or worse. Then you walk on eggshells for the next few days.
Break the pattern by learning to communicate calmly, compromise when needed, and repair resentments using proven techniques. You will jointly learn to use these tools in therapy, so that you can take them home to use.
Some of the things you will learn how to do are:
- Use constructive communication techniques to replace conflict avoidance or escalation
- Use positive listening skills
- Reach compromise
- Express needs and connect in an emotionally calm manner
- Process past emotional wounds with the goal of healing resentments
- Celebrate positive events
- Explore new shared meaning in the relationship
- Create and maintain connections with each other
- Build a habit of supportive conversation
- Show fondness, admiration, and appreciation
In person meetings are recommended for couples in crisis.